July 11th. I went into the hospital thinking I had choices to make only to find they were all made for me, and I dropped out of my life to live those choices. I had no time to worry, just get busy and deal with what was in front of me. It did take a few days to get my head into the game...which only left a few days til my head was completely out of the game for quite some time. (that's a laugh folks...)
I recall when Dr. Abhyankar told me I would be in the hospital 42 days, I could not even get my head around the number. I was still feeling okay, at least in my head. And I figured I would be busy running my business from the hospital. Then I completely forgot that I owned a business. Always be prepared for the unexpected. I was reasonably prepared, but my family didn't know where the "red notebook" was with all the special, emergency information, copies of all important documents and what kind of food to buy the dogs.
So today my grasp of numbers of days, e.g. 52 days til freedom, is no clearer than it was then. My sense of time is distanced from reality. Reality is that Conor & Annie are going to have a baby sometime in the next week or 10 days. In my head this time has passed unremarkably. The only thing that changes is the date on the newspaper every morning. No sense of urgency (hence the unfinished baby gifts laying around.) Unlike the house in Chicago which has been a constant list of shopping and errands and classes and PREPARATION.
Thanksgiving is coming up pretty quickly too and I am as distant from that today as I was in July. I have been the family host for several years now, having anywhere from 12 to 25 or more for dinner. Planning menus and assigning jobs and figuring out the chairs and how many babies and choosing new tablecloths and centerpieces. This year I'm thinking it looks like me and mom and dad. Which is only disappointing because I love planning the big feast and cooking and taking lots of pictures. We are a big family and there are lots of options for getting together. Some of my brothers-in-law will probably be grateful there will be no "magazine" dish this year.
So, I'll be watching for my birthday, Dec 30th. Assuming I check the date on the newspaper that morning and don't miss it.
Cathi
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9 comments:
Cathi,
You hang in there, girl. I'm glad you have time to reflect on all the blessings in your life. I'm sure you are bored, scared, upset...all at the same time. You are important to many, but let them grow as I know you will. Sit back and ENJOY thanksgiving. Let the family demonstrate to you how they have grown because of you. They are ready, are you? Your jaycee friend, Steve E
Gosh, I've well and truly slipped off pole position!
The last 4 months seem slightly surreal, stretching out and then the sudden realisation of everything that's happened since July. You've done a wonderful job at staying firmly in the present and focusing on the job in hand.
lots of love #2 GOT
What a wonderfully written reflection. Seriously, you should think about it getting wider readership. I can't imagine what life has been like for you, but this helps. Thanksgiving this year will be a truly grateful day for all who know you.
xox
Agreed with Robbie...what a nice reflection. It has helped me to reflect too over the last 4 months...a lot has definitely changed for all of us! Thanksgiving will definitely not be the same, but you and G&G will still make it special and your own. Grandma will let you cook a magazine recipe and you will help her find a good centerpiece.
Good luck with the gut testing this week!
Love-
Margaret
PS--getting closer up there Janet!
I think with your post you have given us all a bit of "perspecitve". After reading about Thanksgiving I was struck that you could plan "Thanksgiving" for the spring, it does not have to occur on Thursday, November 27. Plan a date with everyone where you can all be together and give thanks for the gift of you for the past four months (as well as by then all of the months to come). Thank you again for sharing this journey with honesty and humility. You are loved!
More than half-way there! You have such incredible things to be thankful for. And we're all thankful to have you too.
Sending lots of love,
-gail
Wow all of a sudden so many posts. They must be looking for my bad jokes or lame attempts at 10 list. Getting insight into what is really out there is a gift. Being able to stop and have that look is even better. It has helped me better understand what role faith plays in my life.
Hang in there, you are doing great. I am anxious to hear about the guts as well. Send us a your magazine sampler for Thanksgiving, and we will try it as well. Looking forward to getting back to see you in December.
Thank you for the Birthday card. I had my Birthday Party after halloween and I got a Magic kit, beads, Paint by numbers, and a pictuer.
How are you doing? I am OK. I miss you and I hope get better soon.
Love Caroline
I missed this post originally as you're right - Annie's nesting and we're waiting (as much as possible) patiently for Harrison's arrival. The last 4 months have been an amazing time for all of us, and Thanksgiving has a different meaning this year. You are an amazing Mom and your strength I've always admired you for is more apparent now than ever. I will be so thankful for the first time I get to introduce you to Harrison!
Love,
Conor
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