Day 99 - BUT

New Year's Eve brought news of more detours or ditches.The Bone Marrow Transplant did not graft. Did not take. Did not work. Failed. Whatever. The bone marrow biopsy drawn on Monday the 29th was 80% Cathi, not moving in the right direction.

The news was a horrible disappointment but not a complete surprise to me. I've been uneasy about the numbers in recent weeks. This is the time when clinic visits should be stretching out and mine have been getting closer together. The reason I wanted to move home so desperately is I hoped that if I was living in my house and acting like a well person, my body would get the message and start behaving like a well body.

So. Next steps. A full myeloablative transplant. (where they kill my bone marrow first) Dr. McGuirk delivered this news on Wednesday and put it this way "I know your head has not been good recently and the last thing you want to hear is you have to do this for six more months. But you're young, you're healthy, if you can give up the next six months, we can get you thirty more years." So I signed on.

All the meds have been changed to prepare. The pill dish once again looks like an egg basket. I will have a CT scan of my lungs next week hoping they are clear, or more clear than the last scan. He would like to get the gall bladder out before starting the process (and so would I as it acted up again yesterday) but my current blood counts will have to improve to support any kind of surgery. My platelets are dropping so fast I'm in danger of losing flossing privileges!

The procedure involves 4 weeks in the hospital. Two weeks of chemo, the transplant, 2 weeks of recovery. Recovery is actually billed as 2-6 weeks in hospital. And the 100 day regimen. As before, the 100 days begins the day after the transplant.

I do not think that Walt will have to donate again. They froze enough from the first collection for a second transplant. Looking back I recall how casually the medical staff used the term "second transplant" and I register how many patients in this world of leukemia/bone marrow transplants have to repeat at least one procedure.

I am trying to keep my head in the moment and not think about next week even. Having the mini-transplant bought me time for my lungs to heal and my body to get strong. I am certainly stronger now than when I was admitted in July. I feel great, ironically.

I'm grateful for my support network and hope you guys are willing to reup with me.

Having said all this, it is a happy new year. Conor and Annie are bringing that baby down for me to cuddle before all this starts again.

Cathi