Ordinary events are exhilarating

I've just returned from a Scouting District Dinner where I cheered for Troop 91 award recipients. Brant Tidwell received the District Award of Merit and John Jurcyk received the Outstanding Committee Chair. Well deserved awards. Both of these fellows have been keen organizers of the troop to help during my illness and recovery. This was the second outing this week. Monday night I attended the troop parent-son banquet and had a marvelous time.

I cannot seem to put into words how it feels to be "out." To be able to go somewhere, eat buffet food, say hello and hug or shake hands. It is a routine event for most people. To me, it is fresh and new and exhilarating. I saw people tonight I haven't seen since before I got sick. Most of them knew I had been sick but some didn't. One fellow commented on how short my hair is these days. He had no idea I'd been sick and that was a nice change.

Maybe if I describe the things I did tonight that were forbidden for so many months. Going to a public place, shaking hands, hugging, eating food from a buffet, drinking from a cooler, using pepper on my food, enjoying cake cut by someone else. If you look at the list backwards, it is a clue to life on the inside. All food prepared on-site. Bottled water. No leftovers. Tonight was just a big treat. Monday night I ate chips from a huge community bowl; a real luxury.

Standing and chatting tonight was fun and I am grateful I had the strength to do it. My feet hurt but I wore my hiking boots and they are good support. I am probably boring my readers but it was a really fantastic evening for me. When I take one day at a time I don't think so much about what I cannot do. But when I can do it, I marvel at my good fortune.

I retired two pills this week. Dropping the empty V-fend bottle into the trash was a ceremony. Parking the Urdosiol bottle in the unused cabinet was the opening ritual. The vitamins I take now exceed the prescription drugs I take. Even vitamins are parsed out in this recovery. I ask permission to take them and get a lot of no's. So far I can take calcium/vitamin D, B-6, and a B complex. No multi-vitamin. No E or K or any of that wild stuff.

My body hurts quite a bit as I do normal daily activities. I'm still building strength and muscle tone. I have to pace myself and do the most important thing first. For example making sugar cookies has been on the list for 3 days and the ingredients are in a neat pile on my counter. But I put it off in favor of more important things like laundry and errands and work and cooking; then when I have time to make cookies my feet hurt too much and I choose to sit down instead. Tomorrow? cookies first.

My circadian clock seems to reset regularly from sleeping 9-5 to 11-7 or even 8. I hope that it settles eventually into the earlier mode but I guess with all the changes going on right now it's logical that my sleep would change too.

I will close by telling you that I am enjoying a kahlua and cream as I write. A simple pleasure to enjoy occasionally. Dr. McGuirk said "no scotch" so I am abiding by his rules.

~Cathi