Holding pattern

Home from my daily clinic visit. 5pm. I go in about 10 every weekday and get home anywhere from 3 to 5. There are lots of variables. How many patients; how many nurses; how fast the pharmacy is; whether I need blood or platelets; etc etc.

I've been getting shots of Vidaza, the chemo drug to keep MDS/leukemia in remission. Two shots in my belly. The shots are painful going in and my stomach feels like someone has been punching me. Ironically, the Vidaza shots don't bruise, but there are bruises left from the neupogen shots: I do look like I've been through the wringer somewhere.

I feel not so great this week. The chemo works on me. I can control the nausea with a cocktail of drugs, one of which is Ativan. Ativan is mainly an anti-anxiety drug but it works well in cancer patients to control nausea. However, it makes me sleepy so I can't drive and I feel kind of cloudy much of the time.

Nurse Practitioner Julie came in today and said "Honestly, if I didn't know your history I would not question a thing about you." So my lungs sound totally normal but the left one looks bad on an x-ray. This has been the case more often than not since I've been sick. Sounds good, looks bad. ugh.

I gather I could be in this holding pattern for several weeks or even months. The lung heals slowly. And that's what we're waiting for. No more dinners out as the ANC count dropped to under 1. Some of the liver enzymes are still high. And those are the facts. My joints hurt when I move. I'm trying to minimize movement...ha ha.

I don't have a good rhythm for my days. It's hard to get started on a project at 3 or 5 in the afternoon. However, Peggy took me to the clinic on Sunday and we spent several hours ordering clothes for me. So I will soon have a new wardrobe; a treat anytime, but especially in my situation. Finally, just for grins, a picture of the night out with the girls.