Today marks one week until Mom's 57th birthday. Please don't tell her I posted her age to everyone. :) It's been a hectic last few days as evidenced by the fact that last night's post was actually drafted on Monday night and I hurriedly posted it just b/c it was losing its relevancy quickly. So let me see if I can recap where we are now as I prepare to head back to Chicago in 12 hours. I'm headed back home for Christmas then returning the morning of the 26th.
As Gail mentioned in her comment to the last post, Tuesday and Wednesday mornings consisted of completing the video of her life. And we're looking for some additional scouting pictures to include in it.
Mornings continue to be when Mom's most alert and able to engage in conversation. Sure, she still dozes off mid-sentence and takes her naps. But compared to the afternoon, especially after 3 - 4 or so, it's ALERT. We also have foregone any visits to the clinic and this morning made the decision to not go back at all. This was after a conversation with Nurse Amy where we learned that the TPN and any transfusions would actually be detrimental to her lungs. The fact is she's not really moving around a lot and there's already fluid in her lungs. So tranfusions and TPN will not have the impact you would think - prolonging the inevitable. Instead we have changed antibiotics to help her body with this fluid and make her more comfortable than the constant gagging and wommitting of flem and fluids.
Yesterday brought a visit from Father Tom Tank to offer the Annointing of the Sick sacrament for Mom. We all participated in the prayers and annointment. It was beautiful. We also discussed funeral arrangements and got a laugh when Mom wanted to make sure Father had all of the plans regarding pallbearers, readings (and readers), etc. that we've been working on the past few months. I had to remind her that he's used to planning a funeral with a lot less warning than he has here. :) It was a light-hearded moment that made us all chuckle - Mom included.
Mark and I have started going through all of the medical bills and statements as well as catching up the company books. There's been a lot of progress, but rest assured it's the bulk of what we'll have to tackle in the coming weeks. It was actually funny yesterday when I brought some documents to Mom for her signature and she wanted to jump in front of the office computer to do it. I had to laugh and reel her in! First I told her that if she wasn't here then we would have to figure it out anyway. 'True' was her response. Then I told her that we do not want her working during these times and instead focusing on things she has energy to do and wants to do. Not for nothing, for most of us that is not work.
This morning that meant working on something Mom decided she wanted to do in addition to the video upon learning of the mortality associated with chloromas. She's documented a list of activities for both of my kids that she's inserting into birthday cards for them. I'm not sure she'll get all of the cards signed and written in as she insists she wants to, but these babies will forever have Grandma Cathi present in their lives thanks to this ongoing present she's left them. Whether it's a cultural trip, family event, or other task she's assigned them for their birthday, it will all be for her. We all look forward to remembering her and ensuring that she lives on for not just the grandkids - but all of us.
We tried to get together and head to the Plaza to see the Christmas lights one more time. She mentioned the other day that was one thing she really wanted to do. Unfortunately by the time it's dark enough for the lights, it's dicey whether she'll be awake and able to go. We're hoping we can get her there sometime in the next few days though. Stay tuned.
In a very nice way, the last few days have been extremely peaceful and calming. For 2.5 years, Mom has had her ups and downs, often times having survival in her grasp only to have it yanked back again. Now we have a plan where we actually know the end. And while I cannot pretend to know what it's like to be in her shoes, she's going through this just like the rest of her life - with beauty and class.
Love to all this holiday season and Merry Christmas to most. My next post is not likely to be until 12.26.
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4 comments:
Connor et al.
This is such a hard yet wonderful time. I would give anything for things to be different - but after all these years in BMT I've learned it just doesn't work that way. I'm glad all of you have found the joy in walking this walk with someone you love. There is no greater honor. And once you've done it, you will find sudden unexpected deaths a robbery. I'm not saying that this won't hurt more than anything in your life has ever hurt - it will. But you realize that God made life finite and leaving this world surrounded by loved ones is a grace and blessing. Keeping all of you in my prayers - love Wendy @ BMT
Connor,
Thank you so much for your blogs. You, Mark, and Cathi inspire me everytime I read. Cathi has always been such an amazing person and she raised two great sons. I'm glad she can be in her own home with you there. If you do make it to the Plaza, and you have the chance to let us know, I'd love to be standing on the corner somewhere to wave and say hello. I might be able to get a couple of other friends together. My thoughts are with you all. Susan K. 816 809-2557.
Thank you, Conor and Mark, for being the men that Cathi has worked most of her life preparing you to be. She's done her job very well, no surprise. My thoughts and love are with you this Christmas Eve. I hope you all make it to see the Plaza lights.
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