Tues, 12.28 - Tradeoffs

Since about 4 PM yesterday, sleep's been the theme. Mom's been awake for about 3 hours this morning to chat with Grandma and Grandpa then Walt stopped by. She was also able to get a nice shower with the nurse's aid early this afternoon (although she was a lot weaker going up and down the stairs than just a few days ago). When she's awake, there's a definite degree of confusion that's there. I thought perhaps it was the Roxanol (liquid morphine) that I gave her yesterday to help out with her breathing and hacking, but seems that wasn't the only thing causing her confusion as it was a long time between doses and she continues to be somewhat confused.

She has been hacking a lot less, which is awesome. I've been giving her more of the drug (Atropene) we got for managing her lung secretions as well. It sure helps us all to not see her coughing like she was. I also just read Abby's comment on the last post and yep - that's what we're doing.

The tradeoffs title is based on the fact that every decision we make has tradeoffs. If we give her platelets, she may not have blood in her cough but it could suffocate her b/c of fluid in her lungs and a lack of activity. If we don't give her morphine, she may be more coherent but may cough and hack more. I talked to Nurse Amy yesterday and she said if she were to be in a Hospice care facility they would have equipment to suck some of the blood and other hacking out, but she's not at home. It's truly a balance. The goal for all of us is to keep her at home and mitigate pain. Thus far we've been succssful and will continue to keep those goals in mind.