Ennui

I think that perhaps if I posted to this blog more often right now I might cheer myself up a little better. As it is I seem to have a serious case of ennui as much as all the physical things going on.

It's been a fun and busy week with all the different caretakers coming in to stay and spoil me. A big visit with Harrison Thursday afternoon! Friends coming later today to do some yardwork at my house and have a picnic. Mom has called a couple of times from Paris and all is going well over there.

Yesterday I got permission to eat carry out food so indulged in some Pad Thai from Bo Lings last night--Thanks to Janice and Chuck. Lotsa fat! I'm still craving a big juicy Red Robin burger but that will have to wait a day or so I think. I've done a little bit of cooking around here and we have some awesome leftovers too.

Things that are keeping me off balance are the annoying diarhea, but my blood pressure has risen dramatically over the last 10 days so I started medication for that last night. And my blood sugar has been too high for too long to ignore so I will be starting insulin as soon as the docs and pharmacists agree on one. The prednisone and the immune suppressant drugs are the culprits in the blood pressure and the blood sugar. So as they go away so should these other symptoms. I don't notice the blood pressure really, but the blood sugar going wonky can really give me the shakes. Coupled with weakened legs and hips this seems like a good time to sit in the chair and do very little.

I've continued walking on the treadmill and can successfully walk for 13-15 minutes if I don't set it too fast! LOL (Imagine the skinniest Cathi Maynard you can loping on the treadmill...no grace about it!)

So Harrison is 10 mos old now and a beautiful baby. Plus he is really well behaved. Take it from his Gram who knows these things. He has the bluest eyes. It took him a while to warm up to me (his mom says that's because I'm not a man) but we got to play. His Dad was here for bar-b-q and Harrison LOVED the cheesy potatoes from JackStack. They are off to a wedding in Topeka for Annie's childhood friend and then early Sunday return to Chicago.

Being flu season, everyone is extra vigilant about germs and things and I appreciate that. I'm afraid it's going to be that way for a while. The clinic ran Dad out yesterday because he has a cold--he had to wait in a common area for me. I am careful to wear my mask when I am out and covered up with a smock to play with Harrison.

I am impatient and a little nervous about the results of the testing on October 7th. All my counts have been great. I haven't had any transfusions since the first weeks after the transplant and this augurs well for 100% donor chimerism on Oct 7th. I'm sort of keeping my emotions tamped down, my life on hold, in suspension waiting for that date and those results. I don't want to think about any option besides success. The medical team is optimistic and excited.

So I think I'm going to stop there and try to get into really living this day. Choosing a shrub, directing the work in my yard. Enjoy some time at my house. Get my head in a different place.
~Cathi