Friday, August 7, 2009

An Inherent Distrust

Welcome to my 42nd day in the hospital. My 42nd day of a 5-6 day stay. Things seem to be going along okay, aside from a little steroid psychosis today which coupled with Hayward's last day brought forth gallons of tears, no matter what I was doing.

This morning McGuirk came in and began a dialogue with me "now we have a problem coming up here." (This discussion followed the usual back and forth about diarrhea, vomiting, eating, drinking and pain levels.) McGuirk made several appropriate changes, notably to the pain killer. Last night I took some Dilaudid about midnight and threw up within 2 minutes of getting it in my IV. So we're changing the pain killer. Back to the Fentenyl patch I think; I haven't been lucky enough to get there.

But back to the dialogue and the problem coming up here. The problem is that McGuirk is going back to the outpatient clinic to do rounds for a couple of weeks. And the next thing he said was "I have an inherent distrust of you and Dr. Aljitawi together." LOL I laughed and said it was because I love him, but I love McGuirk too. McGuirk made me promise to not leave the hospital til at least Monday. He needs to get some more results from the Endoscopy, which we hope shows a little bit of graft vs. host and will account for this annoying pain in my right side.

So I will get to see Dr. Aljitawi next week, well beginning tomorrow. And I am sure I could talk him into sending me home, but I won't.

Meanwhile Hayward went to the big doghouse in the sky this evening. Mark was in OKC and went with Shane to put him down. He said when the vet brought in the sedative, Hayward lifted up his head and wagged his tail. The vet said that was a sign of a well loved dog. Shane said they were going to go buy a bag of soy nuts and eat the whole bag. I introduced Charlene to soy nuts when she was in Kansas city one time, but Hayward ate the entire 1# package out of her suitcase. I reminded Shane and Mark that he also ate an unnamed friend's knickers right out of her suitcase too. ewww uyuck!

The nurses here have been more than kind, giving me lots of hugs and love and asking for stories about Hayward. My niece and nephew, Caroline and Anthony created some fine pictures last summer with the dogs in them and they are hanging in my room here at the hospital. My apartment really.

I have some new steroid drugs to take that are designed to protect the digestive tract without filling my body with mood swings. However, one tastes like Castor oil. I swear. It is really gross. Walt brought me some Coca-Cola to chase it with but there is still an aftertaste.






A couple of early Hayward pics. One where Mark seems to have him in his arms, and one of my children at the time we got Hayward adding a little perspective.


4 comments:

gail said...

Dear Cathi,

Mark was brave today. It was a hard thing he had to do. I'm so sorry that Hayward is gone, but know that he will be forever a happy dog. Not sure who was waiting at the Pearly Gates first tonight, Hayward or Murphy, but they aren't alone. ::sniff::

You sound ever so much better too - despite the grief and the steroidal mood swings. Your sense of reality/humor always shines through.

I've never met or seen Dr. McGuirk. I can't imagine anyone as fabulous as Dr. Alj. Oh baby. For someone else to say they don't trust the two of you together is fabulous fun. :)

Sending you so many hugs and so much love.

-gail

Unknown said...

Cathi
Do you remember when we took Hayward to the Bass Pro store in Springfield - and he rode in the shopping cart? What an amazing dog. Big hugs to you, Mark and Conor.

So glad you're feeling a bit better and well enough to flirt with the doctors! McGuirk has you sussed alright! Dr Aljitawi is lovely.

I hope you can smile amidst the tears - and keep your food down.

much love #2 GOT

wv - confi.

Anonymous said...

So very very sorry about the loss of your friend Hayward.I lost Percey 2 years ago,and I still miss him so much.
I still have Harvey and he is becoming my friend. Percy was my friend and Harvey was my dog before I lost Percey. I got to meet Hayward at Shane,s house. Shane was very proud of him and had him do his tricks for me.After he did his tricks all the dogs got treats,I did not think that was fair but Hayward seam to think it was ok. He had that unconditional love thing going for him. Love and Kisses
Nedra

Sara Beth said...

Dr. Alj., *sigh* Should not be left alone with any woman. What a backside, I mean bedside manor he has. So sorry the nausea is not gone, but I have faith in McGuirk's changes. Just say no to Dillaudin!

Love,
Sara